CHAOS 2020

For over a decade now I have held onto a story, a story of an encounter with a real God Whisper. The Whisper came while walking through the woods during cancer. “ Be still and KNOW ME”, was the inner Voice… “and… make me known to others.” My story being told is due to the second part of the Whisper, “and…make me known to others.” I used to be reluctant to share this Divine Story because all the knowledge I have obtained has not come from academic sources, but only from a Divine Source, God in the way that I have come to know Him.  I do not share this story with a writer’s expertise nor from years of study inside a religious institution.  Theology study for me has been communing with Him, getting to know Him intimately and personally. Theology after all is defined as “the study of the nature of God”. I have come to know Him, his character and nature most inside my quiet time. How else can we ever come to know his character and nature if we don’t spend time with Him? He made it very clear to me inside the whisper, “that they come to know me.” His message became a mission, received by way of a whisper that I can only articulate as being the Holy Spirit. “ When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. ~John 16:13. All I can share is what I know to be true in my heart, which I am confident in the message of the whisper. This Whisper, this message/mission has been an ongoing Nudge and I know it’s time the Scribe of my heart write it down. Trying to put together in some kind of form the hundreds and hundreds of pages of prayer journals is not an easy feat yet the Nudge keeps pushing… “make me known”. I guess I will continue to try and carry out His mission, even if only in small increments. But I sense what I need to share today, is a prayer that I have been sitting with since early morning. What I know is… we are no longer listening. Prayer and silence have become foreign. We can say we “pray” but do we really? I would say we continue more asking, making pleas and shaking our fists in anger and blame. I hear His Voice often, His peaceful whispers… “they don’t know me…” And so my challenging mission continues…

Nov. 2 2020

Dear God,

CHAOS—“a state of utter confusion and disorder”. Chaos is what I have named the year 2020. It’s Election Day and I am reminded of the ongoing storm through which our world continues to move through. A state of utter confusion and disorder only seems a most accurate description. The world is a mess. We, as a people, are all out of whack, disheveled and confused. We are in a state of disorder. Nothing seems to fit together peacefully anymore. I am hopeful that a sense of reorder is in sight. September 2007, on a walk through the woods, I came face to face with your Divine Detour. Your roadblock and redirection was needed in ways I had no idea. Reflection, for the first time replaced the busyness of my life. Cancer became my slowing down tool. What I have come to realize over time communing with you through silent prayer, study and journaling is that you have a lot to say to your created world… yet your Whispers have become muffled. I have grown to know your Voice and I know it deeply yearns to be heard. I sit inside this chaos with you, praying we work through it somehow. While the world continues to spin in anger, frustration, left in a state of utter confusion, I hear your whisper… REPENT , not in the way religion teaches it; to confess and move on, where we stop short of the door to real transformation and effortless change.  Your whisper… “Repent” I believe to be an invitation. We need to acknowledge your Divine Detour, your roadblock towards redirection, refocus, renewal and restoration of all things.  “Just acknowledge Me and I will make your paths straight.” We are following pathways paved by men. “ A man’s heart plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.” The Whispers are ongoing if only we would LISTEN. Wisdom is our greatest teacher. I am reminded of the Apostle Paul’s fervent plea: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the “renewing of your mind” (repent). Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” We have become conformed to the pattern of this world. We have not truly “heard” what your good, pleasing and perfect will is because we aren’t listening. Sadly, Religion and politics work inside similar “systems” and we have become blind to what is Real and Good. We, as a nation, are frozen in chaos.  It is through silent meditation, prayer, studying scripture, and journaling our dialog, Lord that I clearly witness the Spirit of Truth pouring onto the pages, bringing about peaceful understanding. I read the words of a wise teacher this morning, “ We gradually come to recognize that this thing we call “thinking” does not enable us to love God and love others. We need a different operating system, and it both begins with and leads to silence.”  In the midst of all the chaos, may we somehow hear your whisper, turn and follow. May we come to acknowledge your Divine Detour. I KNOW the answers come by way of the Whisper. Until we turn from the chaos of noise and seek you in silence, until we find a way off the gerbil wheel of busyness and learn how to “be” rather than “do”, until we release power and EGO ( Edging God Out) and begin to seek your way of wisdom, humility will never be experienced as the gift it is, compassion and love of neighbor will be lacking, and the dividing walls that separate us will remain. We are fighting against the pattern of the word, systems of power. We continue an ongoing battle within ourselves through unresolved inner conflict, leaving us fighting against one another. We are not transforming our pain only transmitting it. You are the Great Physician the world is in need of. You are our promised Counselor, Guide and Helper, our Constant Companion. Help us to become better listeners, to you and one another. When we fail to listen we  fall short of bringing about change. All hope resides inside our relationship with you. And I’m hopeful revelation knowledge will happen. I feel deeply hearts will be enlightened so to know you in the way you desire to be known. Slowly, one at a time, I believe we are waking up to the Something More. The answers are not inside systems. The answers come by way of the Whisper. This I know with all full assurance.

With a prayer of gratitude and love, I praise you in these times. Amen

To close: A favorite devotional of mine I read in the 80’s called God Calling, written by Two Listeners, produced in the 1930’s. One entry I want to share here. I have held onto this sacred Whisper because it is very similar to the Voice I heard that day on my walk through the woods. I hear and experience a similar pattern moving through our times; theWhisper having a familiar tone and challenge for us in our times…

“ Do not try to find answers to the mysteries of the world. Learn to KNOW ME more and more, and in that Knowledge you will have all the answers you need here, and when you see me Face to Face, in that purely Spiritual world, you will find no need to ask. There again all your answers will be in Me. Remember, I was the answer in time to all man’s questions about My Father and His Laws. Know no theology. Know Me. I was the Word of God. All you need to know about God you know in Me. If a man knows me not, all your explanations will fall on an unresponsive heart.

Change has to begin with “me”.


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