Entry 3 to this “blog” and yet I have remained resistant to publically launch any of it. I have shared with few friends only.


For several months/years really, I have discerned, “Why is it I am so resistant?” I feel I know why… because I do not want others to feel as though I am trying to attract readers for my own gain, attention or whatever have you.


More and more, this Divine nudge pushes me…


So here’s the continuation of my God story; how I came to fully know Him and what seems to be His message to the world. My deepest and ongoing prayer is that within my story you somehow finally begin to discover your faith story; that you begin to see the Light that still shines in all darkness.


I have come to realize the gospel can be shared in many ways, in order that all may come to receive Him and believe. My passion to share only comes from the wonders He has done in my own my life. So I am here now to press on, following the Nudge within, and just begin typing… and whatever God chooses to do with these words, only God knows.


May hearts be enlightened, Lord…


We are ALL on a spiritual pathway towards the discovery of real life, light and love though we may not recognize this quite yet.


My belief is we all come to a crossroad at some point, a detour of sorts that redirects us to a new way of seeing, an awareness. I believe this fully to be God.



What I know for certain is many of us have struggled and suffered; we have experienced illness, loss, turmoil and pain. Our lives have turned upside down and we have landed on our heads left confused, frustrated and unsure of where next to turn.



Today, I still scratch my head wondering how is that I recognized this Source of Life, Light and Love? How did I grasp this as full Mystery leaving me changed forever? This Voice, that I know only to be God literally yanked me away from my social norm and placed me into a deep space of prayer and discernment.  “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” I connect well with this verse from the apostle Paul.  


Spiritual encounter number 2: you can read my first encounter in one of my previous posts.


“Be still and know that I am God, Helen.” This was my first ever encounter with Him. This was an audible whisper that I will die believing. I KNOW for certain it was God. Out of this encounter developed for me this deep yearning. I desired to know More…


Organically I began this quiet time routine, whereby I would spend hours with Him, reading and dissecting my bible, writing out my prayers and discerning this beautiful voice. This routine continues today, never one morning missed and no less than 2 hours. He is truly my Life Source no matter my circumstances.


One particular morning in 2007, just a few days after my first Divine encounter, I was reading, studying and praying. I got up to fix my second cup of coffee. It was still dark outside, as the sun had not yet come up.


I began pouring my coffee and noticed this light through the darkened window.  I leaned in further so to see where it was coming from. “It must be Dr. Hal next door leaving for early rounds.” No, it was not his car lights pulling out of his driveway. I searched further eager to discover this light. “Oh, it must be that Prescott (my husband) left the interior light on in his car last night.” Nope. “Okay, well, maybe the carport light was left on.” No. “Where is this light coming from?” All of a sudden, I honed in noticing the Light; a reflection through the darkened window, an illuminating light lifting off the white pages of my Bible that was resting on the coffee table behind me.” I turned around and realized it was a reflection (more to come in later entries regarding God’s “reflections”).


Again came another God Whisper, audible in my heart…


“Helen, here I am, Light to this world and I need you to share me.”

I began to sob, overwhelmed as to this Voice yet again to ME. “Why me,” I would argue.


I began to understand He was using my illness as a slowing down tool. He was awakening me to a mission, similar to Moses’ experience of the Burning Bush. I saw a great light. I experienced a Divine Message. I was in a web of Mystery.


Here is what I KNOW, and why I am even here writing all of this:


God’s message to me; Part One; “Helen, you become still and KNOW me”…Part Two; out of knowing and trusting me, share my light with others, who I am and what I have to offer… peace, patience, joy and love.” (fruits of His Spirit)


Twelve years later; finally I am sharing this story…


A man called John was sent by God as a witness to the light, so that all who hear his testimony might believe in the light. This man was not himself the light: he was sent simply as a witness to that light.” John 1: 6-8



An ordained friendship

Well, Day 3 of this blogging thing; not going so well. I’ve already started in on God, somewhat venting…”this blogging thing isn’t for me.”

Honestly, I have argued with God for over 12 years about this.  “I don’t want to do this. It’s way bigger than me!” His nudge only becomes stronger. “I’M The Blogger, remember?”

I reflect awhile on my frustration and feeling of this heavy burden to try and accomplish such a large task. ” This world isn’t ready for stillness,” I say to Him.

I pray awhile…

I text a friend…

Should I do this? The second guessing comes…

Do people need The Gap?

I realize…

There have been those before me offered a similar challenge, way bigger than themselves, and they took on the task out of their love and gratitude to a God that simply showed up! The Apostle Paul was given new eyes to see and a new life. His response? Sharing the message of Christ’s amazing work in him, with the world. I felt a similar conversion; very unexpected, out of nowhere; God presented me with a whisper; “Be still, know that I am God and show others the way towards stillness with me.”

Once you have been captured with such Awe, Power and Light, it’s hard to turn away, because with it comes a message to pass it forward. Though it may seem my story, it’s His telling of it.

Plain and simple, when you experience what is Real and you can live to tell it, then tell it!

My feeling is I can’t leave this world without sharing what I know deep within my heart and the refuge, strength and comfort that comes from that deep space. Twelve years of quiet time, a sacred, sharing routine of 2 hours every morning; shared divine dialog… to NOT share when it includes a message to all of you would be selfish. I’ve been given the task to join forces with Him to help reach every lost soul and I just can’t walk away from that role.

I have to realize the task isn’t always going to be easy and not all ears will hear; however, I am honored and blessed to be His side-kick and if it helps others to Know Him and to recognize that their value and identity is good, then I’m all in!

My prayer alongside my Partner is this:

  • to “assist” others towards discovering a much needed time of stillness, rest and reflection. We can’t come to know His still, quiet voice inside the constant noise of the world. We have to step away, be still so to KNOW Him and through knowing him we come to know our true worth and value separate from the world’s expectations.
  • to provide a space ( The Gap) to just “be” for awhile; to simply show up and know that it is okay to be confused, uncertain, fearful or frustrated; to be able to stand in the gap and be okay in the “in between” moments of life. The Gap’s creation is to be solely that space of grace for all ages and stages.

I have an ironic story to share as I woke up this morning feeling somewhat burdened. When conversing with God, my “eternal friend” came to mind. So I texted him…

About a year ago, I met a man who has become my “eternal friend”. He named our friendship after we parted ways and I love it! He listens to my venting. He understands where I become stuck. We never see each other but we text occasionally. I had the opportunity to meet him through a fundraiser last March. His name is Paul Young and he wrote a book called The Shack. This book was never intended to be published. He wrote it for his kids so that they may somehow grasp this God that he had come to know so intimately.

I read The Shack in 2008 just as I was coming out of cancer. What attracted me to this book, was this God He knew was the same God that showed up in the midst of my chaos and confusion. My life had been turned upside down in 2008 in more ways than just cancer.

Paul wrote a story for his kids. He will tell you, his story did all that he ever wanted it to do when he delivered all 14 copies from Office Depot to his friends and family one Christmas as a gift for them. What started out to be a beautiful faith-story for his kids has since sold over 20 million copies and turned into a major motion picture!  The fact this story has become such a God -phenomenon is witness to what the Holy Spirit can do; moving within the heart of an ordinary man, manifesting words of wisdom which has in turn spread hope and healing all over the world.

It’s no coincidence that this story collided with my story at the exact time that I needed affirmation. I needed to know I wasn’t just going crazy. Was this really the Voice of the Divine as I had experienced? The Shack confirmed everything I knew in my heart was real. I am one of Paul Young’s greatest advocates. He is a large part of my spiritual community and he has supported me in ways that I have needed.  We share a similar heartbeat to somehow express This message of pure love and grace offered to all of us. The thing is… this common Love/Grace story that Paul and I share in common is not a complicated one; yet the world has tried to make it so.

This is where The Gap comes in… it’s that space where there are no rules or expectations. People can come and explore and express their hearts and what it is that is moving within them without judgment or criticism. We need to open up more communities where we can experience grace in the in between places. We need to provide more room for hearts to explore and discover what is Real.

I believe we have lost sight of real faith and what that means. Faith is not needing to have all the answers. Faith is not something we have to prove. It is space and time unseen where trust is the key component.

It is evident youth are growing weary; adults and young alike are tired, worn out and burned out.

Jesus’ message is simple.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11: 28-30 ~The Message

Learn the “unforced” rhythms of grace…. how perfect are those words.

Paul Young has always shared, “coincidence has a Name”. I LOVE that! It’s no coincidence that I felt this burden this morning, feeling as though I was too inadequate for this job. This isn’t MY job to do, it’s the Holy Spirit’s. It’s not MY burden to carry. God’s only invited me to participate in His unforced rhythms of grace inviting others along. I trust He’ll take care of the rest…

Take time to Listen… the Whispers are Real





Be still and KNOW

I wrote in my prayer journal today;

“Well, Lord, The Message is out; Be STILL and KNOW….Your message shared with  me so many years ago, it’s been shared! I felt this being a tremendous milestone in our sacred journey together. Once I clicked “PUBLISH” a sense of relief washed over me. I did what I was called to do.

I wonder… might I hear the words, “With you, I am well pleased?” Wink. 

I KNOW for certain, your desire, and that is to have your children come to KNOW you. Lord, I will continue to pray, discern and blog, trusting that the resonating wisdom that bubbles up and is shared daily is that of your Voice. May your wisdom be the words that flow from these pages…


So here we go… entry number 2.

There is a God-shaped hole in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing but only by God, the Creator made known through Jesus Christ. ~ Blaise Pascal

Listen carefully for a theme resonating here; Open your heart to His Word~

Acts 17:22-27~ Then Paul stood before the meeting of the Areopagus and said, “People of Athens, I can see you are very religious in all things. As I was going through your city, I saw the objects you worship. I found an altar that had these words written: TO A GOD WHO IS UNKNOWN. You worship a god that you don’t know, and this is the God I am telling you about! The God who made the whole world and everything in it is the Lord of the land and the sky. He does not live in temples built by human hands. This God is the one who gives life, breath, and everything else to people. He does not need my help from him; he has everything he needs. God began by making one person and from him came all different people who live everywhere in the world. God decided exactly when and where they must live. God wanted them to look for him and perhaps search all around him and find him, though he is not far from any of us. 

What I know for certain, is 2006’s encounter provided me an inner KNOWING that no one can argue or take away from me. I can only express it as, I know what I know. I began to recognize this God that used to seem so unknown and distant.  He was actually right there in my very midst.

Hmmm… words resonate….  “I began to recognize him”; to RECOGNIZE- when looking up its definition it means “to identify someone or something from having encountered them before; know again.” Wow! the paradox of that statement, of that experience. To recognize… to identify Someone or Something; having encountered them before; know again. HE WAS THERE ALL ALONG. I “knew” him but I didn’t KNOW HIM. I recognized this Presence as though I had experienced it before….it seemed quite familiar.


To this day, I am not sure how the shift happened. This chance Encounter, on an ordinary walk, through a wooded sanctuary, I realized God is not just confined to a building built by men. I also realized that not all pastors know it all, or hold all the truth just because they went to seminary ( I do not at all voice that as a negative). Knowledge is way more than just “of the intellect”, but it’s “of the heart” too. There is a known thing as spiritual knowledge, wisdom, that of God…it’s of this nature that I came to know him and recognize him.

“Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” ( John 17:3)

Be STILL and KNOW….Be still and KNOW that I am God.

I’m praying for you~

More grace stories to follow…