CHAOS 2020

For over a decade now I have held onto a story, a story of an encounter with a real God Whisper. The Whisper came while walking through the woods during cancer. “ Be still and KNOW ME”, was the inner Voice… “and… make me known to others.” My story being told is due to the second part of the Whisper, “and…make me known to others.” I used to be reluctant to share this Divine Story because all the knowledge I have obtained has not come from academic sources, but only from a Divine Source, God in the way that I have come to know Him.  I do not share this story with a writer’s expertise nor from years of study inside a religious institution.  Theology study for me has been communing with Him, getting to know Him intimately and personally. Theology after all is defined as “the study of the nature of God”. I have come to know Him, his character and nature most inside my quiet time. How else can we ever come to know his character and nature if we don’t spend time with Him? He made it very clear to me inside the whisper, “that they come to know me.” His message became a mission, received by way of a whisper that I can only articulate as being the Holy Spirit. “ When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. ~John 16:13. All I can share is what I know to be true in my heart, which I am confident in the message of the whisper. This Whisper, this message/mission has been an ongoing Nudge and I know it’s time the Scribe of my heart write it down. Trying to put together in some kind of form the hundreds and hundreds of pages of prayer journals is not an easy feat yet the Nudge keeps pushing… “make me known”. I guess I will continue to try and carry out His mission, even if only in small increments. But I sense what I need to share today, is a prayer that I have been sitting with since early morning. What I know is… we are no longer listening. Prayer and silence have become foreign. We can say we “pray” but do we really? I would say we continue more asking, making pleas and shaking our fists in anger and blame. I hear His Voice often, His peaceful whispers… “they don’t know me…” And so my challenging mission continues…

Nov. 2 2020

Dear God,

CHAOS—“a state of utter confusion and disorder”. Chaos is what I have named the year 2020. It’s Election Day and I am reminded of the ongoing storm through which our world continues to move through. A state of utter confusion and disorder only seems a most accurate description. The world is a mess. We, as a people, are all out of whack, disheveled and confused. We are in a state of disorder. Nothing seems to fit together peacefully anymore. I am hopeful that a sense of reorder is in sight. September 2007, on a walk through the woods, I came face to face with your Divine Detour. Your roadblock and redirection was needed in ways I had no idea. Reflection, for the first time replaced the busyness of my life. Cancer became my slowing down tool. What I have come to realize over time communing with you through silent prayer, study and journaling is that you have a lot to say to your created world… yet your Whispers have become muffled. I have grown to know your Voice and I know it deeply yearns to be heard. I sit inside this chaos with you, praying we work through it somehow. While the world continues to spin in anger, frustration, left in a state of utter confusion, I hear your whisper… REPENT , not in the way religion teaches it; to confess and move on, where we stop short of the door to real transformation and effortless change.  Your whisper… “Repent” I believe to be an invitation. We need to acknowledge your Divine Detour, your roadblock towards redirection, refocus, renewal and restoration of all things.  “Just acknowledge Me and I will make your paths straight.” We are following pathways paved by men. “ A man’s heart plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.” The Whispers are ongoing if only we would LISTEN. Wisdom is our greatest teacher. I am reminded of the Apostle Paul’s fervent plea: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the “renewing of your mind” (repent). Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” We have become conformed to the pattern of this world. We have not truly “heard” what your good, pleasing and perfect will is because we aren’t listening. Sadly, Religion and politics work inside similar “systems” and we have become blind to what is Real and Good. We, as a nation, are frozen in chaos.  It is through silent meditation, prayer, studying scripture, and journaling our dialog, Lord that I clearly witness the Spirit of Truth pouring onto the pages, bringing about peaceful understanding. I read the words of a wise teacher this morning, “ We gradually come to recognize that this thing we call “thinking” does not enable us to love God and love others. We need a different operating system, and it both begins with and leads to silence.”  In the midst of all the chaos, may we somehow hear your whisper, turn and follow. May we come to acknowledge your Divine Detour. I KNOW the answers come by way of the Whisper. Until we turn from the chaos of noise and seek you in silence, until we find a way off the gerbil wheel of busyness and learn how to “be” rather than “do”, until we release power and EGO ( Edging God Out) and begin to seek your way of wisdom, humility will never be experienced as the gift it is, compassion and love of neighbor will be lacking, and the dividing walls that separate us will remain. We are fighting against the pattern of the word, systems of power. We continue an ongoing battle within ourselves through unresolved inner conflict, leaving us fighting against one another. We are not transforming our pain only transmitting it. You are the Great Physician the world is in need of. You are our promised Counselor, Guide and Helper, our Constant Companion. Help us to become better listeners, to you and one another. When we fail to listen we  fall short of bringing about change. All hope resides inside our relationship with you. And I’m hopeful revelation knowledge will happen. I feel deeply hearts will be enlightened so to know you in the way you desire to be known. Slowly, one at a time, I believe we are waking up to the Something More. The answers are not inside systems. The answers come by way of the Whisper. This I know with all full assurance.

With a prayer of gratitude and love, I praise you in these times. Amen

To close: A favorite devotional of mine I read in the 80’s called God Calling, written by Two Listeners, produced in the 1930’s. One entry I want to share here. I have held onto this sacred Whisper because it is very similar to the Voice I heard that day on my walk through the woods. I hear and experience a similar pattern moving through our times; theWhisper having a familiar tone and challenge for us in our times…

“ Do not try to find answers to the mysteries of the world. Learn to KNOW ME more and more, and in that Knowledge you will have all the answers you need here, and when you see me Face to Face, in that purely Spiritual world, you will find no need to ask. There again all your answers will be in Me. Remember, I was the answer in time to all man’s questions about My Father and His Laws. Know no theology. Know Me. I was the Word of God. All you need to know about God you know in Me. If a man knows me not, all your explanations will fall on an unresponsive heart.

Change has to begin with “me”.


In the Gap

In the Gap~
Journal written in 2015; 5 years ago…

“The Gap”, “In the Gap”, “God in our Gaps” seems to be a resonating theme this year for our family, and maybe not just our family.

Through this kind of subconscious observing I am becoming drawn to “the gap”. This word has been holding my attention lately. It seems that many of us somehow find ourselves stuck “in the gap”; that space of “in between-ness” or “in between-MESS” being the better way of defining this place of fear, uncertainty and being uncomfortable. You know, so many of us find ourselves caught in a gap, a lull, a place of feeling incomplete, uncertain or indecisive. We want the quick fix. We want all the answers now.

No coincidence that Prescott’s Gap year from college fell into that same “in between-ness”; that need of a waiting period; space for inward discovery and discernment in looking forward to life’s next chapter.

Webster’s definition of “gap is “unfilled space”.

Well if truth doesn’t speak there! We all face a gap in our lives; that unsettled, unfilled, unpredictable space. It may be that space of uncertainty of what’s next? Why am I doing this? What direction should I be going? What does it all mean?

We sort of stand in the valley of waiting and wondering…

It seems we must embrace the gift that comes in the waiting and resting period; that this open season should not be viewed as a negative; that our “unfilled space” not feel lonely or wrong. Untimely answers can be a gift of grace. The unfilled spaces are left for only God to fill. We are always so quick to want to fill up the empty spaces, the pauses, the awkward, silent moments.

But why? Reflection and pause are healthy and needed.

Our fast-paced, over industrialized, technologically advanced world wants to fill the empty spaces and quickly. We are a quick fix, immediate gratification society. Waiting is boring to us. Yet God’s abundance awaits us in the gaps of emptiness and moments of pause.

The fast pace to a quick fix only leaves us more anxious, unsettled and without peace. So, we must begin to pause, reflect and fill our gaps seeking God. Looking back on Little Prescott’s Gap year before college, it is clear it was a year giving into exploration and Mystery, time to discover without all the distractions, asking questions like, Who am I? Who is God?

It took age 40 and cancer for me to begin to pause and reflect, posing similar questions that may seem obvious to some. Recently, I had the opportunity to read a journal that my youngest son wrote while in Windy Gap, a retreat area for youth participating in Young Life. This particular year he was injured in his JV football game. What we thought was a mild injury needed surgery. Over the weekend his plans were to head to Windy Gap near Asheville NC with his Young Life group. He was excited about zip lining and all the activities that young boys of 14 and 15 do. His injury prevented him from participating. Recognizing his inabilities at the time, he chose to retreat and get away from the crowd of kids. While all of his friends and girlfriend were off engaged in the many active plans this camp had to offer, Branyon sat resting under a tree journaling a letter of gratitude to God.

Throughout the 4 pages, his take away was amazingly insightful. He captured something similar to what I captured when I discovered for the first time God’s whisper in my own life while being outside with nature during cancer. He said, “While some people may be walking by me wondering what am I doing or why I am sitting alone writing under this tree; well, what they think doesn’t really matter because I am seeing that this is a chance for me to become closer to you, God, and reflect on the weekend, soaking up all you have created. Your creation is beautiful in this place. Everyone is blinded to all of this. While running around, having fun with all the activities isn’t bad, its just what I am able to see is your amazing works so big yet so subtle…and it all goes unnoticed. You Lord, you, just sit back and watch. Giving up our phones may have been difficult and a little hard but it was one of the best things that we did. Separating from social media and just bonding together in your name is unreal. For me to have the opportunity to just sit back and watch God’s creation is so much more than I thought it would be. It’s an experience of a lifetime.”

I wish I could share all the joy that Branyon spoke through the 4 written pages of his journal. He expressed the excitement it brought him to just see the smiles on everyone’s faces as they enjoyed each other and the fellowship there.

Branyon grasped what God intended… the gift of spirit; to experience pure inward joy of Presence. Branyon grasped the fact we all run around aimlessly in life, “blind” to God in our midst.

I experienced a similar Aha moment in my time of forced stillness. Branyon was standing in a valley or gap of uncertainty. He was forced to pause, as was I in the midst of an illness. God filled the gap as he sat underneath that tree.

In the pauses, in the gaps, God shows up. He has something to say in our gap time. He is able to clear away the mud from our eyes, bringing into clear view what it is He intends for us to see.

We can all affirm that what He has to share in the gap is always life giving, full of beauty and awe.

He fills up, never depletes.

Being in the gap is a welcoming pause, a season of stillness, a welcome interruption.

I am in awe to witness the beautiful mystery of God’s grace showing up over and over again. Had I not experienced such intimate companionship over the years with such a Divine friend, I don’t know that I could quite capture the theme that continues to repeat itself… The Gap.

God is speaking inside the empty places.

Over the years, I’ve read similar journal entries from both my boys as well as my own entries and I can’t help but recognize a commonality… God’s grace poured out inside the gaps of our lives.

My prayer has always been that somehow, someway my boys would experience a glimpse of God, causing them to pause and look in the way of His direction because what I believe is once we catch a glimpse of God, embrace the pauses as a gift, life changes at a depth of understanding that sticks with us and guides us. I believe the best way to meet God is in the gaps; the yet filled spaces where we just don’t have all the answers. It’s inside those moments of complete uncertainty that He shows up.

“There is a God-shaped hole in all of us waiting to be filled.”
~ Blaise Pascal

Miracle in the ICU~ My Brother Michael and an Angel Uber Driver Named Michael




Miracle in the ICU
My Brother Michael, an Angel Uber driver named Michael, a true story of faith, hope, prayer and ongoing perseverance

This picture does not do justice to the experience I had January 22, 2020 when Mom, Dad and I arrived to the ICU unit in Casper Wyoming. Sitting in my den with my husband and older son, I received the panic call from my mom that my brother had a massive stroke. I quickly drove to Mom and Dad’s where we received the final call from the doctor’s saying we needed to travel there as soon as possible. The news was not good. They were air lifting Michael to a city, 2 hours away from his hometown in Thermopolis to a larger city, Casper Wyoming.

In the midst of total chaos and panic, with the help of friends, we had flights booked out of Raleigh, NC at 6 am the next morning. Here is where our God story begins.

Watching my mother desperately needing to get to her son was heart wrenching. Mom has always been my brother’s rock, the one to understand him the most. They share a special bond.

Michael has always had a passion for the outdoors. He graduated with a degree in Wildlife and Fishery. He worked many years as a park ranger and later moved to Alaska living in Dutch Harbor, then Homer where he worked with the Deadliest Catch team then later moved to Nome where he married his German wife, Nadja. Nadja and Michael have lived in Thermopolis Wyoming for the last 2 years. Michael’s true passions are genealogy and history. He works for a museum in Thermopolis.

Miracle One: God sent the doctors

The day of the stroke Michael was working at the museum. Doctors, of all groups, happened to be meeting in the reserved conference room. Michael normally would be getting off earlier but he decided to work late so to tend to the needs of the doctors. Michael felt lightheaded, dizzy and off balance and he sat down in a chair. The director of museum could tell something was not right and she called Nadja to come immediately. He began talking and not making sense. Michael refused 911. Through the doctors exam they made the 911 call. Due to the quick response of the doctors there and response from the 911 medic team, Michael was intubated and air lifted to Casper.

We begin our descent into Casper, Wyoming.

Miracle Two: God sends an Uber driver named Michael

Just before landing, I am looking out the window. The topography is so peaceful in Wyoming. I felt Presence and I prayed. Normally, when I pray, I pray… Dear God… this moment I called out to Jesus. Jesus, I do not normally ask for signs but I need one today. I need to know you are truly among us in what we are about to face.

We land.

I click on my Uber app, destination… Wyoming Medical Center. My, sweet mom, almost 80, pushing 2 pieces of carry on luggage and her large handbag; I’m pushing dad in his wheelchair while pushing the other carry ons. We pull up to curbside.

Uber Driver pulls up. We get in. It all feels so eerie being in Wyoming, not to celebrate exploring the sights with Nadja and Michael but to be approaching ICU, not knowing what is happening. A somber silence seemed to cover the inside of the Uber car.

Uber driver asks, “What brings you to Casper?” “My brother has had a massive stroke. They airlifted him yesterday from Thermopolis to here.” He shared his deep concern and later through small talk, he says… “My wife and I have traveled to Thermopolis a few times… we sell jewelry to a museum there.” “My brother works for a museum there.” The connection is made! In a town 2 hours from where my brother Michael lives, I click on my Uber app and of all the Uber drives, of the all the cities where we arrive, the one Uber driver knows my brother! One month prior to my brother’s stroke, the Uber driver and his wife had been sitting, meeting with Michael in that exact conference room!

We pull up to the hospital. The Uber driver says, “My name is Michael. I normally don’t hand out my cell number but I want you to have it in case you need anything while you are here.” He then proceeded to say, “Do you pray?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “My wife, Allison and I will be praying for your brother.”

Inside the fog of what all is happening… we arrive on the floor of the ICU. I don’t recall much of what I was feeling. We begin our travel down the long hallway towards the steel ICU doors. Something redirects my attention. Why do I stop? When did Mom begin pushing Dad instead of me? I seem lifted away from the scene of walking towards the steel doors. But wait… we are in the middle of a panic situation. We need to get to Michael as quickly as possible. He’s not expected to live.

I am somehow redirected, yet unaware at the time this is all unfolding. I am able to see in hindsight.

Something of a soft blue color catches my attention. I walk over to the wall where a small 9 by 11 picture hangs on the wall. I am drawn to it. It hangs alongside other pictures but the hues inside this small, framed picture gain my attention. It is the picture you see here. What you don’t see is what it says on the tiny, brass plate.

Miracle in the ICU… Jesus is in the midst of all the doctors.

Jesus, no doubt provided me the sign I needed… “Take notice, acknowledge me. I’m in the middle of all of this.”

Michael survived the stroke. The nurses hand us a red folder saying, “We hand out very few of the red ones because they don’t survive.”

We had 8 days with him. Dad’s breathing worsened due to the higher elevations and we had to return to NC.

Michael our Uber driver picked us up and assured us he would continue praying for Michael and our family.

Miracle Three:

Over the course of 6 weeks, Michael is transported to one of the top 10 rehab hospitals in the nation, Elkhorn. Michael begins intense physical, occupational and speech therapy.
Six weeks have passed and we are approaching the deadline of the 45 days that Michael can remain there due to insurance coverage running out.

Michael’s condition is not where he can return home. He cannot walk. He remains on a feeding tube and catheter. He continues to struggle with speech and swallowing.

We are all praying.

“God, I know you are in this. I lean on your faith, not my own”. I prayed this every single day, letting Him know I was leaning on what He could do.

One week short of Michael being left without a place to go, the therapists at Elkhorn called QLI, a non-profit, rehab/care facility in Omaha Nebraska! Ten hours from Casper.

Less than a week, QLI flies a representative to Elkhorn to observe my brother in his rehab routine. They then fly back to QLI the same day to give the report to the team at QLI.

In the meantime, insurance is being informed of Michael’s need to qualify for him to be transported to QLI so to begin extended care there.

Days of uncertainty and fervent prayer followed.

We are now in the first of March. The corona virus is creeping into our territory as well as all surrounding states.

Schools begin shutting down.

Second week of March and I am at school, the last day before we are to close our doors due to the virus. In the midst of the total chaos that our school is enduring as we process all of this, I get the call…

The caseworker at Elkhorn; “Michael is approved for QLI however they have said he may not fly due to risk of infection from the virus.” “How am I to get him there, I ask?” “I don’t know,” is the case workers reply. Not the response I expected to hear.

I can’t worry Mom.

“God, what do we do now?” I turn to my teacher friends. We brainstorm. Nothing…no way anyone is transporting my brother in the midst of a terrible virus affecting our nation. Who is going to drive him the 10 hour distance? I am at a total loss. I walk away from the teachers and I go into a dark classroom and pray.

Michael! Our Uber driver. I still have his contact.

I call him… 8 weeks later… He picks up the phone. “Hey, with excitement! How’s your brother?” He too, had kept my contact, thankfully! I’m sure he never thought he would hear from us again after we left Casper 8 weeks ago.

“Michael, I need a favor. My brother has been approved for a top notch care facility in Omaha Nebraska and I have no way of getting him there.” “This is a miracle you called me. I am in need of work. Uber driving has slowed down dramatically over the last week.” We hang up. This is Monday. He calls back. There is a snow storm coming in. We need to leave tomorrow morning so we can get him there.

May I add an insert here…

Just before Michael’s stroke, a pastor friend came into the museum and told Michael and Nadja they must watch the movie TOGO. Togo was the lead sled dog that led the team in pushing through the snowstorm towards Nome Alaska in 1925 to transport the serum needed to combat the outbreak of the disease diphtheria. So many were in quarantine then as are now.

Crazy, of all movies recommended just a week before Michael’s stroke. Michael is transported just before a snowstorm through a long trek of 11 hours after having a massive stroke in the midst of a terrible virus that’s quarantining thousands of people.

Tuesday, the day Michael’s insurance expires from Elkhorn Michael is picked up at 6 am. Angel Michael and his wife pull up curbside. They load Michael, Nadja and the wheelchair but there is not room for luggage.

They begin the long, long drive in a cramped car, catheter and feeding tube. They move toward uncertainty with only faith, endurance and perseverance; moving forward with whatever storms they have to face. Much like Togo.

Midway there I receive a phone call from QVI. They are slowly shutting things down here in Nebraska. We are meeting in 30 minutes and the discussion is we may not be able to admit new “intake patients”.

Mom is with me in the car when I receive this call and we are both in shock. What now? Mom crumbles.

I text Nadja the message. She cannot talk in front of my brother. I give her the fearful news. They continue driving. We continue praying.

Several hours later I receive the call. “We are able to admit him but Nadja may not be able to come in. We may have to quarantine him for 14 days.”

Though not good news there as Nadja had been by Michael’s side, living on a cot in the Elhorn facility for 8 weeks… to separate them could be devastating for both of them, mentally and fear of a setback for Michael.

I texted Nadja… “Text me when you arrive and just tell me if you are in or not.”

Eleven hours later, they make it in… both of them.

Angel Michael begins the trek back to Wyoming to beat the snowstorm.

The facility? It’s worth Googling…

Acres and acres of outdoor beauty. Therapy? They help to rebuild his motor skills through archery, fishing and canoeing! Michael is being restored in ways he doesn’t yet see.

He still has many mountains to climb. Some days are more difficult than others.

We live inside this God story. We see where Michael was and where he is now. I only want Michael to know that God places the pavers into our pathway. We must slowly step on each one of them, trusting a Power much greater than ourselves. We must fight every battle with faith. God shows up in the midst of the worst of circumstances. God is love. God is Presence.

Michael caught a fish today.

Spring has sprung and God’s showing up no matter what!

We will never understand there seems some miracles, some not… we can only look to the One who knows even when we don’t.




Dear Church,

This is probably one of my more difficult posts because it addresses “ the church”. Who am I to write a letter to the church, right? I’m stepping out in faith here, for sure!

In a previous post, I shared the moment I felt this inner desire to leave church for a while. The thing is I did not leave church due to preaching styles I didn’t agree with or a belief system that seemed different.

In the midst of an illness I had an encounter/revelation that pulled me inward. And I simply needed “desert time”.

I wonder… in this stilling season for us, is God calling us to our own desert time? Not just as “the church” but as individuals. I know in my own life, for years, I was just traveling on life’s gerbil wheel, simply running around and around and around in the same circle only to arrive no where, questioning, Where am I? Who am I? What is my life’s purpose?

I was in desperate need of introspection.

I wonder… might these be some of the same questions posed for “the church”? Who are we? How is God calling us to “be” in these times?

God lifted me off of life’s gerbil wheel where He placed me on holy ground.


“Be still and know me… and teach others the same.”

So here is what I sense…

In these moments of uncertainty, I imagine God wanting to turn our cheek towards Him.

“Yield. Pause. Acknowledge Me.”


How many times is that word mentioned in the Bible?

I recall a wise minister saying to me, “Helen, you have been ‘doing church’ all of your life.”

At the time of this deep discernment period
I knew he was right. I was “doing church”, “doing life”, “doing work, and “doing family”…


I wasn’t “be”-ing.

God’s Divine Whisper, again, being confirmed.

I knew I needed time away to just be still with Him and allow Him to “teach me” so I could somehow, prayerfully discern and pass along this message to others.

Over a decade and here I am… writing to you, “the church” in whatever form that is. We have seen the church taking on many forms over the years.

As I was praying while on a prayer run recently, I saw a large flock of geese flying in their perfect V formation; a community in flight.

I came to my resting spot, a bench, my Jesus Bench. I continued to pray… “God, I truly do carry the burden of this message; that others come to a stilling place so they come to KNOW you in a real, authentic and transformative way. Inside the massive influx of podcasts, social media, online devotionals and services, where is YOUR Voice? What is my role here? How am I to be your message of stillness in a sea of a million voices?”

In that moment, I look up and notice another flock of geese flying over, only this time there are 5 geese in a V formation… a smaller community in flight.

So here’s my heart’s whisper to “the church”… in whatever formation it may become, He will make it so…

It’s not about the numbers. It’s about the hearts inside the numbers.

We are all in the desert wandering, seeking and searching for the One, True Voice.

Everyone is on a journey and His language is understood only to the level it is “known”. In the same way we can only preach/teach to the level that we know.

“The true light which enlightens everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world came into being through Him, yet the world did not know Him. His own people did not know Him.” John 1:9-10

And what was the apostle Paul’s prayer and deepest desire as a result of his own revelation of Christ?

“ I pray that the eye’s of your heart be enlightened in order that you may know…”

THAT has been my most fervent prayer for years since my own revelation… for the church and for the many lost souls, including believers… to come to know Him in the way He yearns to be known.

Just because one believes in Him doesn’t mean one truly knows Him. That’s hard to swallow… especially inside the religious system.

I believe we must step aside from all the motion and movement and become still and listen for His Inner Wisdom.

We must at some point recognize this is not “business” as usual. We have been given the gift of TIME… a spiritual time out, time to be still and listen for His Voice… in the NOW. It’s not a numbers game. It’s not about the most “viewed”.

It’s about hearts being enlightened and awakened; taking notice of Something and Someone in a new way.

The flock of geese speaks quite a profound and wise message.

We are truly “walking” the 40 days. I believe it’s important that we stop and smell the roses; be in awe and wonder again, discover the riches of his glorious inheritance.

As we travel this unknown territory, I read a devotional that made sense. “Wilderness is not just about geography. New responsibilities, new unfamiliar challenges, and transitional times are all different experiences of the ‘wilderness’. They require as much faith as wandering in the desert.’

Times of unfamiliar wandering can seem lonely and scary but not so much when you come to know the One True Voice. We may have to take the time to wander and flounder for a while. Be okay inside the gap. Accepting of the fact we don’t know it all. Begin to notice the doors he has shut and those He’s flung wide open… and also be okay standing at the cracked one where He whispers, “Just pause and wait awhile.”



“Be patient in the slow work of God”… one of my deepest take -aways from my studies at Shalem Institute for Spiritual Direction.

Let’s embrace the gift of TIME. I believe Real time spent with Him clears away the clutter of our minds and egos and brings us to our knees.

It is through releasing that we gain a more clear vision.

I do not believe His intention and vision for the church has ever been over programming, packed calendars and full agendas, pushing out prayer and discernment. I believe He is calling us to “rebuild the temple” a whole new way… the temple of our hearts.

This is a good time for us to open our hands, empty them… so we can bravely take hold of His, leaving behind all old agendas and plans.

For He has the plans…

Wiping the slate clean seems scary. Letting go is never easy.

It’s time we bring to life what we preach. Step out in faith.

Open our hands. Allow them to be empty. Begin anew.

The tomb… empty hands, resurrection, new life, new hope.

Discern. Cease striving.

P.S. Susan Beaumont, a friend and classmate of mine during my studies at Shalem Institute, has published several deeply insightful books on the soul of the church. We connected from the get-go at Shalem. We shared in the same peer group and it was evident she  just “knew”. Her academic study and research pairs well with her own personal, spiritual knowledge. She shares true wisdom in our times. Her website and books are worth reading; her most recent… How to Lead When You Don’t Know; Leading in a Liminal Season. Timely I’d say… the thing is when I created The Gap I was not aware of her new book. So you can’t help but wonder… this message, this theme, this pattern. He’s awakening us to something.
Be okay in the “in-between”… embrace this liminal season with empty hands and open hearts.




And be patient in the slow work of God…

Divine Now~ We are being woken up to Something /Someone


Not everyone is going to respond well to this and that’s okay. And when I share, please know it always comes from a very prayerful, discerning heart.


Twelve years ago I received a Whisper to my heart in the midst of an illness. I only knew to name this Divine Whisper, God because it was how I was raised. My parents were Presbyterian so I became Presbyterian.  Sound familiar?


I am extremely grateful for my church upbringing, a community that was safe, inviting and inclusive in my own experience. It was a foundation I needed.


Not everyone has this kind of experience and therefore they may stray or maybe they just never quite believe in this Spiritual OmniPresence of a supreme being… that seems so  far off in the distance, unapproachable and un-Real.


When I experienced The Whisper… I felt invited in. I didn’t “do” the inviting if that makes sense.


Later I came to recognize Jesus inside this Divine Whisper, the Voice that was “calling me out of the tree,” inviting me to sit awhile and share a meal. This Voice was conversing with me “at the well” letting me know my past was my past and He loved me just as I was right where I was … with Him.


This Divine Whisper I had to follow…


I had to leave the organization and structured programs and all the wordiness of the institutional church to follow The Whisper.


I connected with a biblical character named Paul. He allowed me to recognize my experience of this Divine Whisper, Revelation was Real Deal.


Let me say this… like the apostle Paul, it has NOT been an easy journey!


When you’ve been invited into to such Divine Intimacy, the world becomes foreign.


Paul had to go into the desert for a while and listen, pray and discern… just as the Desert Fathers and Mothers did. Just as Jesus did.


I had to walk away too because He was calling me with a message for the world. I knew it… and I have sat on this message for a long, long, long, long time.


I have fought Him many days and nights with tears saying, “This is not for little ole me to handle.” “Why me?” I know how Paul, Moses, Noah, Mary and Abraham felt.


You don’t want to believe it. You don’t feel qualified. Your excuses become an ongoing battle with God you are sure to lose.


Here is a prayer I wrote back in 2017, Dec. 26th.  He began giving me greater assurance that I needed to share this message. All I’ve ever prayed is that it ALL come from Him…


Dear God,


I commend this work, these collective writings of prayers to you… that you honor them and bless them according to your will, in what you are calling forth be made known through them; that the Holy Spirit pour upon these words just as the day of Pentecost- opening eyes to see new; that your Light fully shine in the darkness of this world-that hearts be awakened and enlightened as each person discovers Something new and profound… not understood through their critical minds of trying to prove it all but to find rest in your Presence where the true Word manifests. I pray these prayer-filled words will lift from the pages and into the hearts of those needing to know you… really know you. That each word be received and experienced fully coming from You; your Mystery Revealed, wisdom gained, a collective, united, universal, AHA! Amen


This was a prayer I wrote in 2017. God showed me the need of “A Stilling Season”. This is what He was showing me. We are in those times.


I will end for now a Divine Whisper that woke me last night at midnight. And I say this with all honesty. The only words I heard were “ James 1:5”. I’m like, “What?” “James 1:5”. He woke me up with His Whisper yet again…


I went to James 1:5~



James 1:5-8 J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)


2-8 When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives my brothers, don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! Realise that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance. But let the process go on until that endurance is fully developed, and you will find you have become men of mature character with the right sort of independence. And if, in the process, any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem he has only to ask God—who gives generously to all men without making them feel foolish or guilty—and he may be quite sure that the necessary wisdom will be given him. But he must ask in sincere faith without secret doubts as to whether he really wants God’s help or not. The man who trusts God, but with inward reservations, is like a wave of the sea, carried forward by the wind one moment and driven back the next. That sort of man cannot hope to receive anything from God, and the life of a man of divided loyalty will reveal instability at every turn.

So I say…Seek Wisdom… He has all the answers if we can only discern His Voice with time well spent with Him.

I share my prayer from Paul again that has been another Divine Whisper, heartfelt and real so I sense it must be a prayer of His so I just continue praying it…


“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give to you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may Know him better. “

“Be still and KNOW that I am God.”

“Acknowledge ME and I WILL make your path straight.”

He’s waking us up to HIS Wisdom Words through His Whispers to our hearts.

This is our Season of Stillness to come to KNOW Him.

Let some things go… slow down your mind… let go of control… that which is not providing peace is not God’s Voice within. This is the perfect time to go and discover His Voice, His Real, authentic Voice.

Love everyone. Stay safe and know you are so so Loved just as you are, right where you are.  





Prayer Journal March 23, 2020~ Acknowledge Me

Prayer Journal March 23, 2020


Dear God,


This feels similar to those moments during the first few weeks of my cancer diagnosis. This sacred space you formed for us. You called me into a new way of being and somehow I followed. I still wonder how that happened. I was a stay at home mom at the time, spinning through life, raising kids, volunteering and socializing, dressing the kids in smock, attending birthday parties and long hours at the park. Busy busy busy….


I was lost inside of busyness. Spiritually I was dead inside and did not at all know it. My “awareness” was null.


I had not yet “noticed” you… I later termed this…“acknowledge” as you have taught me all about this word… I had not yet “acknowledged” you. I had not yet accepted your acceptance of me. I was not admitting your True and Real existence.


You… You… drew me in.


I had “attended” church all of my life. I had shown up weekly oftentimes criticizing inwardly those that were not attending church.


Physically I was fully attentive but spiritually I could not have been more distant.


I see this now in hindsight as you’ve grown me.


I was running full speed on life’s orchestrated gerbil wheel.


You nudged me. I stepped off and began walking with you inside your unforced rhythm of grace.


Like the apostle Paul, Your revelation jolt redirected my attention to This Voice that I knew only to be You.


Like Paul, I had come to the detour of your intention for my life.


Like Paul, I had met my vocation, my life’s purpose. Somehow deeply I knew this yet Spirit spoke… “Discern”.


Being “preached to” became for me like being taught by Charlie Brown’s teacher… nothing was making sense. Words seemed jumbled and gibberish. It was not the preacher at all. I loved him and consulted with him often.


You were calling me to the desert, like Paul’s “Arabia”.


You invited me in… onto a scene that was deeply new but real. The scene of Lucy walking through the Wardrobe, into the land of Narnia felt much like my walk inside the woods that day when you spoke your whisper. I had entered a new sanctuary.


What I have came to realize was I was receiving a message that could only be “caught” not taught.


Like Paul, I needed to escape to the desert so 

to make sense of this inner pull, nudge, voice, call.


I am reminded of your listening moment in my prayer journal several months ago. I mark it… ( L= Listening)


** L ~Acknowledge defined…to accept or admit the existence or truth of


So I go and discern it. You define it.


What’s to “Know”… YOU, plain and simple.  You remove all of our fears.


“Acknowledge me”, turn to me, take notice of me and I will make your path straight.


Be still… come to Know me and I’ll show you the next steps.


I sense you are hoping for more “Marys” to just sit and rest at your feet awhile, to listen to what you may have to say in “these times”.


I get the whole Word thing as opposed to the word thing.


I, like Paul, am sorry we’ve gotten so lost inside religiosity and the many interpreted mumbled and memorized words out of context from your discerning Spirit.  Inspiration and Mystery has been pushed aside. I know this is not as you would have it be. We’ve lost our beautiful, loving, true Authority.


I am going to continue to meet you at my coffee table alter and listen for the “what’s next” for this one day.


I love you…


**L~ “In that day, you will “know”… that I am in my Father and you in me, and I in you.”


I wonder… are these the days many will come to “KNOW”.


I remain in my sacred holding pattern waiting for answers to come.  I trust in your Mystery of unanswered questions. I feel revelation is slowly manifesting.


Help teach us how to be still and come to know you, being inspired by your word while not “doing” so much to prove and argue it losing sight of you.


I have been praying for spiritual wisdom in these times. And you, Lord are our spiritual teacher.


Like Paul, I will continue to pray: “that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you know what is the hope of His calling.”


**L  “ You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And her I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from ME the life you say you want.”


“Do not be afraid… Peace I leave with you”…


Thank you Lord for your simple beautiful words.


In Jesus Name. Amen








2012-06-09 12.43.15 copy

While approaching the beginning of the New Year, God laid a word on my heart: ABUNDANT. I wrote it down. I shared in a previous post that there are times when I know, “This is a Whisper; write it down.” And I do, often with the letter “L” for listening; I jot a word, phrase, or scripture that bubbles up and I include it, at the top of my journal page, knowing it’s going to be a message I will return to.

Abundant: it’s a word that keeps showing up. It’s my word for 2019. It has become anchored within me.

A wonderful quote that Paul Young shares often is~

The opposite of more is “enough”.

I have learned to settle into the “enough”. From His fullness we have all received grace upon grace. John 1:16

Ya know, I think often how cancer became for me a “slowing tool”. My life was traveling at such speed and cancer led me to life’s “Yield” sign, giving me reason to pause, catch my breath and begin reflecting more internally. Focusing on what in life really mattered became my detour.

I remember attending my last summer session at Shalem Institute, completing my certification in Spiritual Guidance. Every morning I would take a long walk on the sacred grounds of the monastery there. The grounds were so holy and quiet; such an inviting sacred space. Along the way I approached this “Slow” Sign. It spoke to me in a profound way and I took notice of it’s deeper meaning.  I took a picture of it ( included here) and it remains with me as God’s reminder tool; “Remember to pause, take notice…be still, become aware.”

A huge revelation for me lately has been the word “terminal”. I often question, “Why me Lord? My illness was not terminal. Why is it, I was so drawn into this stillness, this awakening of Presence that caused me to put the brakes on, take notice and begin to truly see you with eyes of my heart? More importantly, my question was, why aren’t those, facing more difficult illnesses, not really seeing you?” 

Terminal; it’s not always about the severity of the medical illness. Terminal; it’s the severity of our spiritual illness…seemed to be his whispered reply.

The greater, more terminal disease of our time is Busyness and it is aggressive in nature. It moves quickly spreading beyond control providing unhealthy cells of fear, anxiety and little faith. The thing is, oftentimes, our medical disease becomes the antidote. It’s what counteracts and heals. It forces us to slow down, pause, wake up and begin to show up to “live”, truly “live”.

When we move through life at such high speed, with little to no time to pause,  pray and listen for God’s still, quiet, comforting voice, our soul becomes diseased and we are in need of a Greater Physician.

I speak from experience: cancer became the antidote to my diseased soul.

Cancer became my healing grace.

Twelve years of daily discipline, turning to prayer, communing with Him, coming to Know Him has allowed me to diagnose and recognize this spiritual disease, realizing, ONLY time spent with Him can begin to heal it.

We are given grace for one day. It’s a gift. It’s intended to be given to us free of worry. We have it only for today. Tomorrow it is gone.

As God has peeled away the many layers over time, He has given me strength for the day, every day. Where I cannot depend on the world to satisfy or heal me of whatever “illnesses” attack me, I do know and trust PRAYER HEALS, MY FAITH HEALS…He heals.

So here’s the thing…The apostle Paul, John the Baptist… and I include myself, experienced a Great Light; the One we have been called to witness to. Whether then or now, He calls us to help others “see” the way He is calling us to see and to believe in the way that is Truth. And through coming to know the Truth by way of the Holy Spirit, with that brings a heart of conviction and spiritual confidence combined with an eagerness to share.

So, in closing here, I can only speak from my own experience from years and years of deep Union “with” our True Life Source; that He calls us to experience ABUNDANCE, no matter our circumstances. I can with bold confidence say, the closest place we can begin any type of healing is with Him. He is the only True Physician of our time.

Lately, as God has directed me to His word, Abundant, I have begun my own self- study of this grace word.

I believe as we begin to heal our spiritual disease our remission leads us to ABUNDANCE.

The thief came only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

Do not allow an illness, addiction, or broken relationship be the thief. There is a Power larger than the “thief”.

The apostle Paul was so confident that he stated that God is able to do a lot more than we think he will and in fact, he can do “far more abundantly than all we ask or think, meaning He will bless us, maybe not materialistically and maybe not every prayer will be answered in the way we would like, yet he still can bless us with other things, answering prayers in other ways and it’s all according to the power at work within us”, not of our own doing but of His doing as the Holy Spirit moves.

 I truly believe we can begin to conquer the “terminal” disease of our times through finding contentment in Him, but this takes diligent seeking and time spent in quiet and silence.

Like Paul, “I have come to know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

 Remember, He can do far more abundantly than we think or imagine. We must let go and trust.

We must begin to simply….Be still and KNOW.

“I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness.” ~ Love, Jesus



Entry 3 to this “blog” and yet I have remained resistant to publically launch any of it. I have shared with few friends only.


For several months/years really, I have discerned, “Why is it I am so resistant?” I feel I know why… because I do not want others to feel as though I am trying to attract readers for my own gain, attention or whatever have you.


More and more, this Divine nudge pushes me…


So here’s the continuation of my God story; how I came to fully know Him and what seems to be His message to the world. My deepest and ongoing prayer is that within my story you somehow finally begin to discover your faith story; that you begin to see the Light that still shines in all darkness.


I have come to realize the gospel can be shared in many ways, in order that all may come to receive Him and believe. My passion to share only comes from the wonders He has done in my own my life. So I am here now to press on, following the Nudge within, and just begin typing… and whatever God chooses to do with these words, only God knows.


May hearts be enlightened, Lord…


We are ALL on a spiritual pathway towards the discovery of real life, light and love though we may not recognize this quite yet.


My belief is we all come to a crossroad at some point, a detour of sorts that redirects us to a new way of seeing, an awareness. I believe this fully to be God.



What I know for certain is many of us have struggled and suffered; we have experienced illness, loss, turmoil and pain. Our lives have turned upside down and we have landed on our heads left confused, frustrated and unsure of where next to turn.



Today, I still scratch my head wondering how is that I recognized this Source of Life, Light and Love? How did I grasp this as full Mystery leaving me changed forever? This Voice, that I know only to be God literally yanked me away from my social norm and placed me into a deep space of prayer and discernment.  “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” I connect well with this verse from the apostle Paul.  


Spiritual encounter number 2: you can read my first encounter in one of my previous posts.


“Be still and know that I am God, Helen.” This was my first ever encounter with Him. This was an audible whisper that I will die believing. I KNOW for certain it was God. Out of this encounter developed for me this deep yearning. I desired to know More…


Organically I began this quiet time routine, whereby I would spend hours with Him, reading and dissecting my bible, writing out my prayers and discerning this beautiful voice. This routine continues today, never one morning missed and no less than 2 hours. He is truly my Life Source no matter my circumstances.


One particular morning in 2007, just a few days after my first Divine encounter, I was reading, studying and praying. I got up to fix my second cup of coffee. It was still dark outside, as the sun had not yet come up.


I began pouring my coffee and noticed this light through the darkened window.  I leaned in further so to see where it was coming from. “It must be Dr. Hal next door leaving for early rounds.” No, it was not his car lights pulling out of his driveway. I searched further eager to discover this light. “Oh, it must be that Prescott (my husband) left the interior light on in his car last night.” Nope. “Okay, well, maybe the carport light was left on.” No. “Where is this light coming from?” All of a sudden, I honed in noticing the Light; a reflection through the darkened window, an illuminating light lifting off the white pages of my Bible that was resting on the coffee table behind me.” I turned around and realized it was a reflection (more to come in later entries regarding God’s “reflections”).


Again came another God Whisper, audible in my heart…


“Helen, here I am, Light to this world and I need you to share me.”

I began to sob, overwhelmed as to this Voice yet again to ME. “Why me,” I would argue.


I began to understand He was using my illness as a slowing down tool. He was awakening me to a mission, similar to Moses’ experience of the Burning Bush. I saw a great light. I experienced a Divine Message. I was in a web of Mystery.


Here is what I KNOW, and why I am even here writing all of this:


God’s message to me; Part One; “Helen, you become still and KNOW me”…Part Two; out of knowing and trusting me, share my light with others, who I am and what I have to offer… peace, patience, joy and love.” (fruits of His Spirit)


Twelve years later; finally I am sharing this story…


A man called John was sent by God as a witness to the light, so that all who hear his testimony might believe in the light. This man was not himself the light: he was sent simply as a witness to that light.” John 1: 6-8


An ordained friendship

Well, Day 3 of this blogging thing; not going so well. I’ve already started in on God, somewhat venting…”this blogging thing isn’t for me.”

Honestly, I have argued with God for over 12 years about this.  “I don’t want to do this. It’s way bigger than me!” His nudge only becomes stronger. “I’M The Blogger, remember?”

I reflect awhile on my frustration and feeling of this heavy burden to try and accomplish such a large task. ” This world isn’t ready for stillness,” I say to Him.

I pray awhile…

I text a friend…

Should I do this? The second guessing comes…

Do people need The Gap?

I realize…

There have been those before me offered a similar challenge, way bigger than themselves, and they took on the task out of their love and gratitude to a God that simply showed up! The Apostle Paul was given new eyes to see and a new life. His response? Sharing the message of Christ’s amazing work in him, with the world. I felt a similar conversion; very unexpected, out of nowhere; God presented me with a whisper; “Be still, know that I am God and show others the way towards stillness with me.”

Once you have been captured with such Awe, Power and Light, it’s hard to turn away, because with it comes a message to pass it forward. Though it may seem my story, it’s His telling of it.

Plain and simple, when you experience what is Real and you can live to tell it, then tell it!

My feeling is I can’t leave this world without sharing what I know deep within my heart and the refuge, strength and comfort that comes from that deep space. Twelve years of quiet time, a sacred, sharing routine of 2 hours every morning; shared divine dialog… to NOT share when it includes a message to all of you would be selfish. I’ve been given the task to join forces with Him to help reach every lost soul and I just can’t walk away from that role.

I have to realize the task isn’t always going to be easy and not all ears will hear; however, I am honored and blessed to be His side-kick and if it helps others to Know Him and to recognize that their value and identity is good, then I’m all in!

My prayer alongside my Partner is this:

  • to “assist” others towards discovering a much needed time of stillness, rest and reflection. We can’t come to know His still, quiet voice inside the constant noise of the world. We have to step away, be still so to KNOW Him and through knowing him we come to know our true worth and value separate from the world’s expectations.
  • to provide a space ( The Gap) to just “be” for awhile; to simply show up and know that it is okay to be confused, uncertain, fearful or frustrated; to be able to stand in the gap and be okay in the “in between” moments of life. The Gap’s creation is to be solely that space of grace for all ages and stages.

I have an ironic story to share as I woke up this morning feeling somewhat burdened. When conversing with God, my “eternal friend” came to mind. So I texted him…

About a year ago, I met a man who has become my “eternal friend”. He named our friendship after we parted ways and I love it! He listens to my venting. He understands where I become stuck. We never see each other but we text occasionally. I had the opportunity to meet him through a fundraiser last March. His name is Paul Young and he wrote a book called The Shack. This book was never intended to be published. He wrote it for his kids so that they may somehow grasp this God that he had come to know so intimately.

I read The Shack in 2008 just as I was coming out of cancer. What attracted me to this book, was this God He knew was the same God that showed up in the midst of my chaos and confusion. My life had been turned upside down in 2008 in more ways than just cancer.

Paul wrote a story for his kids. He will tell you, his story did all that he ever wanted it to do when he delivered all 14 copies from Office Depot to his friends and family one Christmas as a gift for them. What started out to be a beautiful faith-story for his kids has since sold over 20 million copies and turned into a major motion picture!  The fact this story has become such a God -phenomenon is witness to what the Holy Spirit can do; moving within the heart of an ordinary man, manifesting words of wisdom which has in turn spread hope and healing all over the world.

It’s no coincidence that this story collided with my story at the exact time that I needed affirmation. I needed to know I wasn’t just going crazy. Was this really the Voice of the Divine as I had experienced? The Shack confirmed everything I knew in my heart was real. I am one of Paul Young’s greatest advocates. He is a large part of my spiritual community and he has supported me in ways that I have needed.  We share a similar heartbeat to somehow express This message of pure love and grace offered to all of us. The thing is… this common Love/Grace story that Paul and I share in common is not a complicated one; yet the world has tried to make it so.

This is where The Gap comes in… it’s that space where there are no rules or expectations. People can come and explore and express their hearts and what it is that is moving within them without judgment or criticism. We need to open up more communities where we can experience grace in the in between places. We need to provide more room for hearts to explore and discover what is Real.

I believe we have lost sight of real faith and what that means. Faith is not needing to have all the answers. Faith is not something we have to prove. It is space and time unseen where trust is the key component.

It is evident youth are growing weary; adults and young alike are tired, worn out and burned out.

Jesus’ message is simple.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11: 28-30 ~The Message

Learn the “unforced” rhythms of grace…. how perfect are those words.

Paul Young has always shared, “coincidence has a Name”. I LOVE that! It’s no coincidence that I felt this burden this morning, feeling as though I was too inadequate for this job. This isn’t MY job to do, it’s the Holy Spirit’s. It’s not MY burden to carry. God’s only invited me to participate in His unforced rhythms of grace inviting others along. I trust He’ll take care of the rest…

Take time to Listen… the Whispers are Real





Be still and KNOW

I wrote in my prayer journal today;

“Well, Lord, The Message is out; Be STILL and KNOW….Your message shared with  me so many years ago, it’s been shared! I felt this being a tremendous milestone in our sacred journey together. Once I clicked “PUBLISH” a sense of relief washed over me. I did what I was called to do.

I wonder… might I hear the words, “With you, I am well pleased?” Wink. 

I KNOW for certain, your desire, and that is to have your children come to KNOW you. Lord, I will continue to pray, discern and blog, trusting that the resonating wisdom that bubbles up and is shared daily is that of your Voice. May your wisdom be the words that flow from these pages…


So here we go… entry number 2.

There is a God-shaped hole in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing but only by God, the Creator made known through Jesus Christ. ~ Blaise Pascal

Listen carefully for a theme resonating here; Open your heart to His Word~

Acts 17:22-27~ Then Paul stood before the meeting of the Areopagus and said, “People of Athens, I can see you are very religious in all things. As I was going through your city, I saw the objects you worship. I found an altar that had these words written: TO A GOD WHO IS UNKNOWN. You worship a god that you don’t know, and this is the God I am telling you about! The God who made the whole world and everything in it is the Lord of the land and the sky. He does not live in temples built by human hands. This God is the one who gives life, breath, and everything else to people. He does not need my help from him; he has everything he needs. God began by making one person and from him came all different people who live everywhere in the world. God decided exactly when and where they must live. God wanted them to look for him and perhaps search all around him and find him, though he is not far from any of us. 

What I know for certain, is 2006’s encounter provided me an inner KNOWING that no one can argue or take away from me. I can only express it as, I know what I know. I began to recognize this God that used to seem so unknown and distant.  He was actually right there in my very midst.

Hmmm… words resonate….  “I began to recognize him”; to RECOGNIZE- when looking up its definition it means “to identify someone or something from having encountered them before; know again.” Wow! the paradox of that statement, of that experience. To recognize… to identify Someone or Something; having encountered them before; know again. HE WAS THERE ALL ALONG. I “knew” him but I didn’t KNOW HIM. I recognized this Presence as though I had experienced it before….it seemed quite familiar.


To this day, I am not sure how the shift happened. This chance Encounter, on an ordinary walk, through a wooded sanctuary, I realized God is not just confined to a building built by men. I also realized that not all pastors know it all, or hold all the truth just because they went to seminary ( I do not at all voice that as a negative). Knowledge is way more than just “of the intellect”, but it’s “of the heart” too. There is a known thing as spiritual knowledge, wisdom, that of God…it’s of this nature that I came to know him and recognize him.

“Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” ( John 17:3)

Be STILL and KNOW….Be still and KNOW that I am God.

I’m praying for you~

More grace stories to follow…